The Prompts:
1.) Grab your current read. Let the book fall open to a random page and share two “teaser” sentences from that page, somewhere between lines 7 and 12.
(inspired by Heather)
2.) What do you aspire to be? (Inspired by The White House)
3.)Share a piece of unsolicited parenting advice...only I'm soliciting it.
4.)Tell us about your blogline...how long have you been blogging, when did you start, what were/are your goals for your blog, etc. (inspired by Corn)
5.)If you had 5000 dollars to give away or donate to a charity...explain what you would do with it and why.
To be honest the one I couldn't stop thinking about was the unsolicited parenting advice. I know that I'm not a parent and would probably be crucified for offering advice in an area I "know nothing about" but I couldn't keep my mouth closed. This advice is from a non parent to a parent. I can already see eyes rolling and fists shaking but someone has to speak up.
1. Sorry but everything your child does is not cute to everyone else. I understand because I love stories about my dog's poo as well but I try to restrain myself because I realize that not everyone else cares to hear about my dog's poo.
2. It would be nice if you helped your child notice their surroundings. Letting your child stand in the booth and hit me on the head during my entire meal is kind of rude. At the very least move them to the other side of the booth half way through the meal so another patron can share in this joy and I can finally sip my supersized margarita in peace.
3. Letting your child run willy nilly through a store is plain irresponsibly. What about their safety? Am I to be blamed if the third time they smack me as they run past me screaming they accidentally trip over my foot and while I am trying to catch them I accidentally shove them into a book display? Who is really to blame?
4. Public bathrooms are kind of gross. Letting your child crawl around on the floor and pop up in my stall is beyond impolite. Ironically I'm the one who could be arrested for being inappropriate but you know you are really to blame. Plus if I lose my precious balance and fall onto the seat I will hunt you down and it would be all kinds of messy. Best if you just figure out how to not have your child crawl into my stall.
5. Finally, there are child labor laws in this country. I consider all fourteen fundraisers per year that your child knocks on my door selling as a violation to this law. It seems like child prostitution. I don't need anymore magazines, gift wrap, cookie dough, popcorn, cookies, knick knacks, beach balls, or flowers. Besides the last kid took my money and never (You know who you are!) brought back my dang product! If I knew who you were I would come knock on your door and ask for my dang chocolates! Instead you ruined it for everyone else and from now on I'm going to hide in my basement when I see you coming just like those crazy religious freaks who keep knocking on my door. Way to go kid. I want my dang chocolates. Don't your parents have relatives, co-workers or friends that owe them a favor or something? When I have kids I'm just going to write a check the PTA and be done with it. I'll buy my kid a toy at the dollar store that would be better quality then the prizes the fundraising company offers anyway.
Perhaps the saddest part is that all of these are from personal experience. I realize that parents don't care for advice but sometimes it takes an outsider to help you see your faults. I'm just trying to help. It takes a village you know.