Tuesday Musings

Now, Othello has to have surgery. I'm glad this year is almost over. I'm not sure I could handle anymore good news.

O Snap! Dr. O.z is doing an example of a laparoscopy right now on his show. How odd is that? The very day after I find out I need one. Doo Doo Doo Doo (The twilight zone music - I don't really know how to spell that.)

The Go.lden G.lob.es have been announced and I must say that if Ja.ne Ly.nch does not win for best supporting actress for G.lee then something is very very wrong with this world. That woman is fantastic!!!

I'm still waiting to see if I managed to squeak out a B in my stupid class. It will be by the skin of my teeth.

I've been to the library to load up on my books for laying by the pool. So far I have picked up Bre.ath of Sn.ow and A.shes by Gabal.don(last one to read before I get to read the new one that came out in Sept.), The Tim.e Trav.eler's Wi.fe, Sid.darth, Sa.lt P.al.ace and Fre.akanom.ics(my cousin, a movie producer, has bought the movie rights to this book so I figure I better read it if I want to be able to discuss it over X-mas dinner). I think I have another book or two in the pile but I can't remember them right now.

I am excited about one of my gifts. I picked out this fun computer sleeve for my laptop from Bu.ilt. How cute is it???

Mondays!

Well, met with my new RE. Love all those charts that show how I am losing the age portion in the infertile game. Most painful sonogram I've ever had! Awful! Lasted about 1/2 hour. It was determined that I need surgery. A laparoscopy to be exact. I have some cysts that are worrisome(one was hiding behind one of my ovaries so lots of digging was involved) and with my family history she thinks it is a better bet to go in and see what is going on. Hopefully, it can be scheduled for right after I return from my vacation. Don't even get me started on hubby's reaction. I am not happy! It was not a good day. I've drowned myself in some *bucks and thrown myself into cleaning my house to prepare for vacation. Oh, well, going back to cleaning.

FB annoys me lately. I'm trying to avoid it. Sorry if anyone sent me stuff on there but it has become more of a chore then fun. Plus, lots of people are way too happy on there right now and it annoys me. In all fairness almost everything annoys me right now.

Friday Musings

I turned in my final test and the class is out of my life. Thank goodness!!

Tomorrow is my last night at work. Thank goodness!!

Sunday we shoot another video.

Monday I meet with the new infertility clinic. No hope or expectations.

Tuesday we take Othello back to the vet and to see if the tumor has gone down or if it will have to be surgically removed.

I have 6 days to clean my house and pack to spend the rest of the year in Cali.

I'm moving into hyper movement mode.

Thought of the day:
When did infertiles become the red-headed stepchildren of the society and the government? I'm sick of being asked to care about everyone with children when no one thinks about caring for the ones who can't. I'm sick of paying out more money for taxes and medical expenses and then being asked to pay more. How the heck am I supposed to have the money to pay for my medical expenses in order to get pregnant or to save money for an adoption? I'm all for equality but how can it be equal to only care about fertiles and not infertiles? Don't my hopes and dreams count just as much?

Ok now for the funny.
Talking with the clinic on Wed. to schedule hubby's test. Of course, it has to have been three days since relations before the test.
Nurse: We would really like him to come in before your appt. Could he come in today?
Me: Well, it hasn't been three days.
Nurse: Ok, well, two days would be ok.
Me: Uh, it hasn't been two days.
Nurse: Oh. Ok. (pause - I imagine her thinking "dang! and you can't get pregnant?) I guess Monday will be fine. (I imagine her thinking "if you can keep your hands off each other for that long.")
Me: Ok.
Later I relate the story to hubby.
Hubby: I would have said "It hasn't be five minutes."
Whatever! Men and their egos!

Monday Musings

Busy Week! Why is it always so freakin' busy in December? I think people like it to snow now so that they have a reason to slow down.

We went to Wally's to buy gifts for the Angel Tree at church. We bought 6 gifts and spent $90. OMG!!! I said to hubby, "This is only six gifts. Can you imagine if we had kids how much we would be spending?" He said, "Well, hopefully we can teach them to not be all materialistic." We can dream.

It is another BF week. I get to spend Tues. with my childhood BF, Barbie. She is coming to town to pick up the rowing machine she made me go get for her off of Cr.aigs Li.st. Thrift stores here we come!
On Wed. I will spend with my BF who is about to move to GA. I will miss her. She leaves in a moving van the day we fly back from Cali so Sat. at work may be the last time I see her for awhile not counting S.kype.

Good news: I might be done with this awful class by Tuesday. Last class is tonight and then it is a take home final and we have a group meeting on Tuesday afternoon to complete it. I will be happy to get this class out of my life!!!

Hit by a Mean Bug

I got taken down and fast. It was crazy. On Thursday I ran for 15 minutes no problem and then finished the rest of my workout but on Friday I could barely run 10 minutes and then walked for 5 before I could run the last five. I left after 30 minutes. Within 4 minutes I started coughing and having trouble breathing. Of course, I drove straight to *bucks because I knew the coffee had a stimulant to help calm my lungs. Let's face it the crack they sale at *bucks will solve anything. I ran to the store and got cough drops and two other things but none of the three items I went there to get in the first place. I hate that. At work the pain in my chest got worst so that every breathe hurt me. I got up early Saturday morning and went to the doctor. After x-rays, ekg and vitals were taken it was determined that I have a virus. I was given an inhaler to help ease my chest pain so I could breathe and sent me home. I was a little disturbed by that especially since no blood was drawn or anything. However, my lungs were free and my heart was good. I took a nap and then went to work. I made it two hours before begging the nice manager to let me go home. I got home and in bed by 11:30 p.m. and slept. My hubby woke me up about 12:30 p.m. the next day. I slept about 13 hours!!! When I got up I had no more chest pain. Thank God!! I still don't have full lung capacity but at least the pain is gone. It happened so fast my head is still spinning which could account for my faintness. I don't move real fast but that is ok since I need to study for my test tomorrow anyway. I hope everyone out there stays healthy.

Friday Musings

Ok. Week was good and bad.

It was the two year anniversary of my sister's death. I'm less angry with her this year then I was last year. I'm sadder so I guess I'm working my way thru the grief process.

I met with the IF dr. and have a new appt for a week from Monday with the RE Center. Yes, another dr. Hubby needs tested again. He is so happy about it. I may have to do the test where they shoot the dye in to check everything out. We shall see what the appt. brings. Right now I have more tears then hope but it is what it is.

I am struggling at work now that I have just over a week left. It is that situation where the closer it gets the slower time gets. I should use all that extra time to clean.

What I don't get: Yesterday I ran for 15 minutes and had no problem. Today I could barely do 10 minutes and it started an asthma attack. I didn't have my inhaler with me since I haven't used it in a year. So I ran to *bucks for a coffee to help. Then I went to the store and bought everything except for the three things I went there for. I blame it on my inability to breathe.

What a difference a year makes. Last year I was training for a 5k but hurt my back and ended up unable to workout at all. Since then I've lost 60 pounds and it is so much easier to run. I'm officially lighter then my hubby. He still can't carry me over a puddle of water (we tried - it wasn't pretty) but we are still working on it. I will post a pic of it if it every happens.

My big break

Awhile back I told you I filmed a video with some friends from college. My friend Heather is in love with l.ev.el 42 a UK band. She is trying to get them to tour North America. They currently only tour Europe. So she started doing these series of videos to convince them to come over. This is part 4. If you want to completely understand what is happening you should watch Part 1 first but you can still see the humor in part 4 if you don't. It is funny but there are a few things that only a true levelhead would get. I am not a levelhead so I don't know much myself. Enjoy. Oh, so far the only comment I have heard is that I remind them of Wil.liam Sha.tner.

Musings

Good: Ran for 15 minutes going just over a mile all at once today.
Bad: Still can't get past my mental block to finish paper for class.
Ugly: Appt. with new fertility dr. Nutshell quotes. "Your chances aren't great. Since your past 35. Need to be ready to have miscarriages. But we'll try our best." I, of course, ran into a friend as I was trying not to cry in the elevator. That is the problem with living in KS. You can go NOWHERE without running into someone you know. Anyway, I consoled myself with a Pumpkin Spice Latte - soy usually I say no whip cream but today called for a whip cream moment.

In case you had been wondering if I received a reply from my Aunt on my email about being unable to do holidays - I have not. I'm not mad. 1. She is not a big email person anyway. 2. She may not know what to say. I respect that. I find that much easier to deal with then people who say too much and are insulting. 3. It's not about her. It is about me being honest and dealing with my own feelings.

My untrained eye thinks Othello's ear growth/tumor is shrinking. It may be wishful thinking but I'm ok with whatever will keep me sane until we go back to the vet and find out for sure.

The other day my husband turned to me and said, "You know, I think when you can eat real food again that we should celebrate by going bowling." Ahhh, ok? We have never gone bowling in all the 20 years we have known each other. Not once. I have never mentioned a desire to go bowling. My husband is an engineer. He is not a big social butterfly. I was a little bit taken back. I said, "Ok. That could be fun. Maybe we can get A, B or C, D to go with us." Hubby, "Uh? Yeah, ok. I guess so." Apparently my hubby just wants to go bowling with me. Odd. I spent many years in a bowling alley. My mom was a big bowler and was always in a league. I was usually the score keeper back before the computer did it for you. Bowling alleys make me think of my mom, nachos and war. You heard me right, war.
Once in college this group of couples I hung with had planned on going bowling one night. My boyfriend called me that afternoon.
BF: "Hey did you here?"
Me: "About bowling? Yeah, sounds like fun."
BF: "Uh. No. We just declared war."
Oh. Yep. It was the day we started De.se.rt Storm. My two aunts were serving at the time so I was not into the stress of all that. However, we went bowling. At one point I went to throw the ball but as I went drew my arm back I dropped the ball and it rolled back towards the seats. Everyone was like "You need to throw it the other direction." When I tried it again I looked back and everyone had huddled together behind the score desk. Such good friends.
Come to think of it, bowling has lots of traumatic memories for me. Perhaps I can talk him into pool or shuffleboard or darts.

Musings - Giveaways & Extra

What fun yesterday! Sure just a few responses but I learned some new things and that is always cool. So far our theory may be at about 50% accurate.

Giveaway Coolness. I have started some sort of need to enter giveaways this week. I can't keep up with all of them but here are a few cool ones.



Fantabulously Frugal is doing an awesome giveaway of several sets. The first one is worth like $675. I almost hate to tell anyone else but I get more entries if I blog about it and if you tell her who sent you then we both get extra entries. I would tell you all the neat items but I think you should head right on over and check it out. Stay awhile and see her nifty blog.


I learned about the previous giveaway from The Giveaway Diva. She is doing a giveaway with a piece of jewelry from the Fantasy Jewelry Box.
The pieces are so cool. They do affordable versions of jewelry often worn by celebrities and they look hot. Check out both sites. You will thank me later.

The other giveaway at The Giveaway Diva that I love is this one featuring the work of Trudie Davies. This is Trudie's Etsy shop. I love the large personalized pendant. (In case you were wondering what I might like for x-mas.) It can have any saying or poem stamped on it. So Freakin' awesome!

Ok. On the personal side of things.
Good:
Made appt. with new infertility dr. for Thursday.
Bad:
I still have 8 more days to work for the pony express.
Ugly:
I am failing my class this semester. I am working my butt off. I went to her three times last week between classes, studied, practiced and still got a D on my test. Something is not right. Over half of the class is failing which makes me feel a little less stupid but as a teacher can't she see something is fundamentally wrong. I have to write a paper tonight, study for one more quiz and then take the (luckily take home) final. If it wasn't take home I would for sure fail but we are getting together as a group and my friend is getting an A. (He doesn't know how.) But hopefully between the paper and final I can pull my grade up to a C. However, I'm still pissed because I am working my tail off! I hate that it will screw up my GPA! If I wasn't working I could understand but this is ridiculous. If over 50% of your class is failing then you aren't doing your job as a teacher. IMHO

Topic Tuesday Musings

I'm going to test drive a new idea. Having a fun topic to discuss on Tuesdays. Not necessarily a ultra serious discussion. Maybe more of a I always kind of wondered thing. I'm nervous about it because I want to keep it light-hearted, open minded and respectful.
I took this quiz the other day. I found it really funny. Why I found it so funny:
A. My religion came in 7th. I apparently only believe in 75% of my religion.
B. My bf who is 7th Day will love that I am actually 6% more 7th Day then my own religion and they didn't even have a vegetarian type question.
C. I lean 100% Qu.aker. Is it because I love oatmeal? I kid. I have to admit I have always had an infinity for Qua.ker stories(Daisy Newman's books) and quotes. I'm just not sure I could rock the outfits. I could definitely survive living simply because that is something I work towards. However, I tend to have issues with being put in certain roles. I might be a bit of a boat rocker. Of course, the quiz took that into consideration and I am still 2% more liberal Quak.er then my own religion.

My bf and I have had discussions on this topic before as far as what religion we chose. We both agreed that the religion we are raised in has a string of sentimental value attached to it. If our family has traditions and such around one religion we are more likely to stick with it. We, also, felt that it gives a certain comfort level. You know what to expect in your church where as another church can be rather scary to test drive. I tried out several other churches but ended up right back where I began. How about you? Did you stick with what you were raised with?(whether it was the same religion or no particular religion - just basically how you were raised.) If you changed was it a change in belief or something you found through a friend or spouse? This is more of a general interest (I would like to see how our theory holds up) then a huge theological debate.

Here is a partial list of my results.
1. Orth.odox Qu.aker (100%)
2. Mainline to Lib.eral Chris.tian Pro.testants (93%)
3. Seven.th Day Adv.entist (81%)
4. Mainl.ine to Conservative Chri.stian/Pro.testant (79%)
5. Li.beral Qua.kers (77%)
6. Easte.rn Orth.odox (75%)
7. Roma.n Cat.holic (75%)
9. Orth.odox Juda.ism (72%)
10. Unitari.an Universalism (67%)
11. Is.lam (66%)
12. Reform Jud.aism (62%)
16. New Age (44%)
17. Church of Jesus Christ of Lat.ter-Day Saints (Mormons) (42%)
18. Jeh.ovah's Witness (42%)
19. Christ.ian Science (Church of Ch.rist, Scientist) (40%)
20. Mahayana Budd.hism (40%)
25. Scien.tology (31%)